Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
