You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
