Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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