under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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