And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
