I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
