Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Randomize
