Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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