He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
