Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
