She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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