That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize