after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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