yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize