I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
God I need to hump something, right now.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
