Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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