oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
