Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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