Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
