Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
