How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
