I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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