i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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