i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
