i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
