We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Fuck appropriateness.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
