so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
