it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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