lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
