last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
