Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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