He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
50% drunk capacity currently
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
