I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
