Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
