when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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