lets start a swedish sibling band together
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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