Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize