he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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