I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
