You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize