whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
