so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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