Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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