she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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