went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
