Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize