he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize