i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
