so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
