Christians are straight up FREAKS
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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