two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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