i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The beer is more important than you right now.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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