This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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