I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
