I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
