i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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