would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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