And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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