i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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