I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
