I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The air taste purple.
His nipple licking is glorious
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