So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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