My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Im part way to drunk.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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